whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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