people are starting to question the shark bite story
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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