four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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