I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Randomize
