She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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