Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
