I've blown a few things in my day
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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