Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
please come you make the beer taste better
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
