UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
