You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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