Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
