can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
