Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
