then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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