the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
