I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize