No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
