The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
