Your face is a jimmy john
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
