sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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