i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
