its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
