i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
