I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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