My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Mom said you looked used
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
