Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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