What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
