That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize