So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
