whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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