i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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