Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
