White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
