Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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