my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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