He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
