I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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