Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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