i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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