You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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