At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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