I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize