dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize