K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
barbara walters just said penis...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
