i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
