i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
