omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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