My liver just broke up with me...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
being pregnant is like rehab
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
