I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
