we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
