Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize