I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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