Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
