woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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