oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
