bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
