my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
