the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
