O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
