Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
