After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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