It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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