There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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