That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
