i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
